an ever evolving relationship

4 Comments » // June 25th, 2009

As some of you may know, Stan (my man) and I have been going through some rough times recently.  Fortunately, it looks like we have made it through fairly unscathed.  That’s not to say that everything is perfect and that we don’t have some work to do, but who doesn’t, right?

The situation is this:  We have been together for almost 5 years and have been living together for 4 years.  In March, Stan got an AWESOME job in Florida that we thought would only last a few weeks, so he went there thinking he could fanagle it into something he could maybe do from here after a bit.  Well a few weeks has turned into a few months and as of right now, it looks like he will be there until January or so.  But it is so worth it as he is getting paid an excellent salary and it is opening the doors for so many more opportunities for him.  I am so proud of him and would never want him to sacrifice something so incredible just for me.  But the distance is hard.  We had some underlying issues and him being away sort of put them under a magnifying glass, which led to some major turmoil for a while there.  But through honestly and communication with each other, we have really worked through some of these issues and made the commitment to stay together and keep on working!  We just have so much love and respect for each other and still enjoy each other’s company so immensely…and at the end of the day, we are happier together than we are apart.

This whole thing has really developed into some major personal growth for both of us as well and I am so grateful to be partnered with someone so willing to look at his own sh*t and wanting to be a better person.  I am also seeing relationships in a whole new light and it has been interesting observing so many of my friends going through relationship turmoil and seeing how different they all are and the process each of them is going through.  It is making me realize more and more that I really do belong in the Counseling Psychology realm and that getting my MFT will be perfect for me.  I actually think I would be interested in doing couple’s counseling as well, something I had never really considered.

Anyway, I got to see Stan last weekend and it was wonderful, but hard when he left.  We are going to really try to see each other as often as we can during this time.  But we also appreciate the fact that this is a time for us to really work on ourselves more on an individual basis and to get some of our many projects done.  We both have so many incredible opportunities in front of us right now and are so busy with tons of amazing things, so I know that our time apart will go by quickly.

I would just like to thank the Universe for allowing us to have a second chance and letting us see the light before it was too late!  I truly think a lot of people either bail on relationships too soon or wait too long before truly dealing with the issues.  Relationships are mirrors to our own soul and really reflect who we are and the issues we have…maybe if we saw them more that way, and used them more to grow personally, I think people might be a lot happier in the long run.

I also have to give my wonderful Clarity Breathworker, Maggie,  some credit.  She has really been helping me through this time and clarifying so much for me.  She is the best therapist I have ever had, and I hope to be able to help people as much as she has been helping me!