reflections on partner hooping

1 Comment » // January 14th, 2009

Another reason I was emotional last night was because I had just gotten home from an intense Allstar rehearsal involving Partner Hooping, which is two people inside one hoop.  I know that doesn’t sound intense, but it really can be.  It takes a huge level of comfort with your own body, someone else’s body and a level of intimacy that I think sometimes we are not used to experiencing on a daily basis.  Overall I really enjoyed learning it, but I have to be perfectly honest and say that I am a little anxious about it.

I have never been a team sort of athlete…well I have, but it’s not something I find that I am extremely comfortable with.  The closest I ever got was in cheerleading and dance team and I mostly enjoyed when we were all just dancing together…but if we did stunts, or choreographed parts where we had to rely on each other more, I tended to be more nervous.  I am realizing now that I prefer to be independent and reponsible for myself.  I don’t want to have anybody rely on me too much because then I might let them down.  I have no problem if I just fail myself because I can have my own little argument, scolding, etc.  But failing someone else…ugh.  I have often said that one of my biggest fears is disappointing anyone.  So now that I am reflecting on last night’s rehearsal, I think I am getting why I was so drained afterwards.  I was putting myself in a situation that takes a lot of teamwork…but only with one person, so it’s super intense.

In Partner Hooping you get extremely close to your partner and are holding them tightly against you as they do the same.  In fact, if you separate too much, the hoop will fall.  You must be so in sync and glued together that you are moving like one person.  Your legs and arms are often intertwined and you find yourself holding hands a lot.  It is actually a really beautiful thing to witness.  Of course, you are also sweating, worried about if you smell, etc.  I was also feeling insecure about my body as usual, having all these sweet tiny girls pressed up against me and holding onto my love handles.  I did have the issue of being a little too tall for most of the girls, where being the same height really makes the whole thing easier.  So there I am again, often without a partner and feeling left out and like I don’t fit in, as usual.  A feeling I definitely need to work through.

I did find a nice height match in Shawna and I felt that we worked through some of the stuff well together.  But I was dealing with so many of my own insecurities that I know I could have been more receptive to her.  I feel like I sort of shut down a little last night and I am not exactly sure why.  I think of myself as this really open intimate person who loves hugging and touching and connecting with people and talking about very personal things…and most of this is with my female friends.  So I guess it just comes back to someone relying on me and my comfort level with that.  I mean if I am normally not getting a hoop move, that’s fine because I know I can have some personal time with the hoop later and just keep practicing.  But with this, I know we will be practicing a ton with each other and it makes me nervous.  Not that the Allstars aren’t all so wonderful and supportive and sweet….I couldn’t ask for a better group of women to be doing this with…well unless they were all a little taller…haha.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to keep growing in my hoop practice and skills.  So of course I will keep on working through my issues and keep on practicing.  I am hoping I can get through this kind of stuff with grace…I am grateful for being an Allstar, but it’s definitely been bringing up some major issues for me.  But I sort of like it that way…

There is an awesome Partner Hooping class coming up at HoopGirl with Christabel, Natasha and Satise.  You can sign up for it here.  Don’t be scared off by my experience though, I know that everyone else had a blast…and I actually did too, cracking up through most of it.  Me being the highly sensitive person I just always have to overthink and overfeel something…*rolls eyes*.  Don’t mind me.

*image is of Deanne and Bunny Hoop Star partner hooping with Philo watching….at HoopCamp 2008